My 2018 Trip to Gibraltar, Spain, and Morocco

6 Days with Nicola

It occurred to me during one of my trips in 2017 that I had accidentally become The Doctor.

That is, I took various travels through alien worlds along with various and shifting companions. We had adventures, but there was never a clear story arc or clear message.

To be honest, I’m not a big Dr. Who fan. I remember vaguely seeing a few episodes on PBS when I was a kid. That was with Tom Baker as The Doctor (for those of you for whom this means something). This was around the time of Star Wars and I read a lot of science fiction, so one might expect me to like Dr. Who.

Instead, I just found the show confusing and boring. I was, in this way, I’m afraid, probably a typical American boy.

What I remember of Dr. Who from that time was a few adults in awkward clothing standing stiffly while talking, and the occasional self-animated metal cylinder that they inexplicably seemed to be afraid of. I wanted impressive special effects, spoon-fed story lines, clear heroes and villains, and a minimal amount of work as a viewer.

In my 40s, after my divorce, I watched a few full series with Doctors Christopher Eccleston, David Tennant, and Matt Smith. I can’t say that I became a fan, but at least I came to have more of an appreciation for the series, and this laid the foundation for my insight that I had become The Accidental Doctor.

Anyway, I find myself reflecting on this as I recall my 2018 trip with Nicola. We certainly had an adventure. A great deal of the time was spent in conversations, we faced multiple scary situations (at least, they were scary to me, though I doubt they concerned Nicola as much and there were no evil villains or explosions), but I have a sense that someone watching from the outside may come away having expected something more.

Perhaps unlike the real Dr. Who, in my version, it’s my companions who often drive the plot.

On this trip, Nicola chose our destinations (Ronda in Spain, Chefchaoen in Morocco, and Gibraltar). She had specific ideas for our photo sessions. My role was mostly facilitator. I booked accommodations, rental cars, and ferry trips. I took (most of) the photos and did all of the driving. Nicola had a vision for the dresses she should wear in Morocco and stubbornly kept looking for them until she found them in a tiny shop in the blue city. In other words, a very effective collaboration.

Many of these pictures then ended up in the book, 404 Days of Nicola, that I created to share my experiences with her from the day we met to the end of this trip. I included a few of the pictures that Nicola took of me in that book, which Nicola complained about, saying the book did not seem to have a clear purpose.

It took me a while to understand that this might well have been because, for me, the book was about this Accidental Doctor’s experiences with one of his companions. In other words, I put myself in the starring role, even though the book otherwise appeared to be about Nicola. I think once she understood this, she was able to accept the book for what she had considered its faults, although maintain her opinion that it was not the book she would have preferred.

I guess this just supports my idea that I’m The Accidental Doctor.

Our route

Day 1 - Sunday, October 21, 2018

London Heathrow 9.30 

I’ve made it to Heathrow. The screens claim my next flight is currently delayed. It has reported between 30 minutes to a little over an hour, but it changes its estimate fairly often. Either way, I have at least 4 hours before I fly. I found a seat in a fairly high traffic area, but with a good view of the screen, to collect my stuff and stop sweating. I’ve stayed here for now, planning what I want to do next. 

I want to go to Boots to see if they have any Blistex. I could look in Dixons travel to see if they have anything fun, although I doubt I want anything from there. I’m planning on getting lunch at a “real” restaurant, although I’d prefer to wait a bit. Actually, I may be forced to get breakfast, come to think of it, since it is morning. No, I checked the menu (available on the internet, of course). It just seems that they stop breakfast service at 12.00, but the rest appears available whenever.

A Chinese woman asked me to help set up wifi on her phone, a Samsung. I was able to do so. A testament to the uniformity of our UX approach these days. 

My flight delay is now shrinking. I’m hungry. Shall I get breakfast?

I could eat now, then get a coffee as the flight approaches...

It would be good to stretch my legs.

Gibraltar 18.36 

I’ve made it to the hotel. For a short time, it seemed like we might not be able to land because of thundershowers, but they passed quickly enough for us to land, about 1 hour late. 

I’m in the hotel, on the side that has a nice view of a cemetery and the airport. Oh, well. I took one picture of the Rock and a few busses as I walked to the hotel. As expected, now that I’m here, I don’t have much desire to venture out. The forecast promises more rain this evening. There is a cafe in the hotel, and restaurants which are about a 15 minute walk. If we weren’t expecting rain, I might take a chance, but I feel more like just staying here. I can be adventurous with Nicola.

I checked about the car. It should be easy enough to cross the border and pick it, then cross back to get her at the airport. I can then leave my luggage in the car, I hope. 

As for tonight, I have my uke, so I can practice. I have my camera, but have no real desire to take pictures of the area. Nicola is more my subject for this trip.

I’m reading several books. Currently:

  • The Emperor of all Maladies (still, have been reading it for something like a year)

  • Play it Again (not quite a year, but feels like it)

  • Why Buddhism is True (just started, but it’s much shorter)

  • 12 Rules for Life (physical book, the others are Kindle)

  • Lethal White (Audio)

Plus I’m walking through the Ester Perel podcasts. So that’s 4 sources of “psychology” type books. They have me thinking, of course, about my own habits and whether they are good or bad. Plus, in Lethal White, Strike has reached the end of a year long relationship that he started to avoid his feelings for Robin, which is ending badly. 

I think I had an ingrown hair in my moustache, which was bothering me but I seem to have pulled it out of the skin, so it hurts less now. Will have to keep an eye out for more of them. 

I have the slightest feeling of a sore throat, which, if you ask me, is from the fact that I woke a few times last night. I hope a good night’s sleep tonight will fix that.

It’s supposed to rain tomorrow morning, and I did not bring an umbrella. Oh, well. I do have a raincoat for myself and my camera bag. I don’t really have enough space for everything in my suitcase (my sweater in particular), but I should be able to figure something out.

Day 2 - Monday, October 22, 2018

Gibraltar 09.04 

I went to bed a bit early last night, but I wanted to try to sleep as much as I could. I was awake for a while, but eventually did sleep well. I woke up at about 6am and saw that Nicola had sent me a message at 4am my time, saying she would go to bed and could get about 90 minutes sleep before she should head to the airport.

I was waking up just as 80 minutes had passed. I waited 10 minutes and wrote to her. We wrote as she was on the way and she realized she had forgotten to pack her toothbrush and toothpaste. She had specific requirements when I offered to buy one for her. In that sense, she reminds me of Christine. Both were quite willing to ask someone else to do things for them, even if the need arose from their own mistakes.

This is something I can get better at. 

Day 3 - Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Rhonda 08.36 

I can’t decide if I like my beard or not. It doesn’t actually feel nice and soft, even at the best of times. At the worst of times, it feels a bit like straw. I think I get an ingrown hair as well, up by my left nostril, which can be a little painful. My intention, however, is to let the hair grow out on my chin enough to make a point. Then, once I’ve made my point, I can choose to shave it off or keep it. We shall see.

Nicola and I got along well yesterday. I did not bring my camera with me, so we took a lot of pictures with my iPhone, using the panorama feature on occasion to what seems to be great effect. 

Today I will bring my big camera and I’ve emptied out my backpack to just hold my camera and lenses.

We need to be out of the apartment at 12:00. That can mean that we start driving earlier than is strictly necessary, although I think it would be a good thing. Nicola is a last minute girl and this gives her no stress. I think waiting gives her stress. Whereas I’m more of a stress-until-I-get-there-and-enjoy-waiting kind of guy. We will have to find a balance for this trip.

08.46 

We just planned our morning. She’s wearing essentially 3 tops and very tiny shorts. I’m concerned about her being cold, but she assures me that this is the only option available. 

Day 4 - Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Day 5 - Thursday, October 25, 2018

Gibraltar 23.04 

Last night with Nicola. We are one the yacht. It’s nice and the owner has stocked with great stuff. It’s a little sad for Nicola to live here alone for one night without me, but I expect that she’ll make the most of it. She plans to stay until 4pm the day after I leave, which the owner accepted. She hasn’t been feeling well today, but she improved as the day wore on. We had a fun photo shoot after relaxing for a while. It’s nice that she likes the pictures so much.

We have had some heated discussions. Mostly in the car. She can annoy me, but we return to being affectionate once we finish whatever we disagree about.

We had a nice meal at a seafood restaurant. She wanted to try a new type of fish and we needed to share, so I agreed to it. The place was pretty nice and they got the meat out of the fish once it was cooked, so that avoided my biggest fear. 

Now we are in bed and I took the bigger bedroom, because the smaller has a small bed. She can sleep here tomorrow.

I did not manage to work on a single picture here, so no postcards for anyone. I don’t know if I’ll bother to bring it to Malaysia. For now, time to sleep.

Day 6 - Friday, October 26, 2018

On plane 17.40 

I’m on my flight to London.

We ended the trip with a fight with the Gibraltar airport staff, who did not want to allow me to take my ukulele on the flight, or rather, because I had it, they felt I needed to check one of my other bags. I would not accept that and, eventually, after talking to 3 different people, got a 4th who took responsibility to say that I could bring all three bags to the plane and let the flight crew decide. When I finally got on the plane, the stewardess looked perplexed and asked, “Is that the guitar they were worried about?” She made a face.

Nicola had walked me to the airport and was just as upset about the whole discussion as I was. I was happy as soon as I got the right to bring all three bags to the plane. Nicola was still ready for a fight, though wondering why the other three people hadn’t just made the same decision. We agreed that it was just a case of people not being willing to take responsibility and/or authority to see that the rules did not apply. 

We’ve had our share of arguments on the trip (although she preferred the term “discussions”), and she often says the she is surprised when we cover similar territory multiple times, because she thinks I change my position. I try to explain that I think what often happens is that she interprets my words differently than I do. So I often circle around to a similar topic because I feel that we haven’t fully understood each other yet.